Heed the news of the Poncho Pilots

By Poncho Pilots News, Sep 5 2017 12:16PM

Widely discredited reports of an imminent Poncho Pilot arrival were spectacularly proved correct on Saturday 2nd of June, on a stage at the Strawberry Fair which eye witness tell us "came out of the sky like an asteroid with wings" and crowds of dumn-struck on-lookers were apparently "bathed in the rhythmic consciousness of the universe", with widespread gyrating and unintelligable babbling among the unsuspecting audience, with one punter becoming so crazed that he had to be looked after by the St John's Ambulance service.

The Poncho Pilots reportedly interfered with the audience in this manner for about half an hour before disappearing, leaving people perplexed and bemused, with witnesses reporting seeing vivid colours and feeling as if they were having some sort of outer-body experience, and as these curious and alarming effects began to wear off the so-called Poncho Pilots made an astonishing return, when their stage revealed itself once again to the crowds, with yet more of their psychological cacophane that sends by-standers into seizures, and they proceeded to mesmerize the audience once again, this time regailing them with the story of how they apparently fought against an evil wizard, and telling them that they "are explorers from another world" and that they administer the antidote to the forces of darkness in whichever dimension they go to.

So I suppose that's what they call jazzing this crowd of on-lookers into an hallucinogenic frenzy, with little or no regard for health and safety or the planning and organisation that goes into making the Strawberry Fair the best free festival in the UK. Well whoever they say they are, or whichever dimension they supposedly travelled from, it is the opinion of this newspaper that these Poncho Pilots are a menace, and future forecasts of their arrivals into this dimension should be treated with the highest levels of seriousness and should only be attended with extreme caution!

By Poncho Pilots News, May 15 2017 05:44PM

Apparent photographic evidence of the Poncho Pilots was recently obtained at a sighting in Grantchester. (Pictured above, the pilots themselves sighting something else)

Usually these kind of photos turn out to be hoaxes, but this time we believe it to be genuine! Several eyewitnesses corroborate the rumours that the Poncho Pilots themselves visited this dimension.

Normally this would be exciting news for any amateur ponchologist, but wait: there's more! We have a hot tip off from a highly trusted but undisclosed source that the Poncho Pilots are still within the local interdimensional portal network and all astrological indications point to their imminent re-appearance!!

Our triangulations and estimations place the approximate date and time of this fortuitous occurance at the 1st of june, somewhere on a stretch of open ground in the city of Cambridge called Midsummer Common. This seems to coincide with the Strawberry Fair, a local annual festival! What does this mean?? Stay tuned, we will investigate further!

By Poncho Pilots News, Apr 10 2017 12:34PM

let's just put another one of these here, it will make it look like there's more going on

By Poncho Pilots News, Apr 9 2017 08:18PM

Stay tuned, for the Poncho Pilots are due to appear in the vicinity of cambridgeshire within the month. More details to follow!